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Monday, November 14, 2011

Wise Guy Wisdom

Here are some one-liners that didn’t make the cut. 

In the “Biz 1-Liners” book (, the focus is on one-liner observations appropriate for any number of business applications from memos to presentations to e-mails and beyond -- we all know that a well chosen piece of wit or wisdom is an effective way of positioning yourself as a great communicator.

That being said, sometimes it’s fun to consider an inappropriate comment.

So, take your nose off the grindstone and wipe the grease off your elbow for a quick break. Chances are a few laughs will re-energize you for your next attack on your priority list.

Life is like a doughnut: you’re either in the dough or in the hole.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

I’d love to have a battle of wits with you ... but you appear unarmed.

Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

Pretending I’m a pleasant person all day is exhausting.

If a cow sneezes, does milk come out of its nose?

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

I‘m so busy I don’t know if I found a rope or lost my horse. 

I used to be decisive. Now I’m not so sure.

With enough thrust, pigs fly just fine.

There. Their. They’re not the same.

I’m a history buff: I’d find you more interesting if you were dead.

In Dog Beers, I’ve only had one.

I just want people to accept me for who I pretend to be.

When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.

Statistics mean never having to say you’re certain.

My train of thought has left the station.

Relish Today. Ketchup Tomorrow.

Dear auto correct, Stop correcting my swear words you piece of shut.

If you have any one-liners you’d like to share, make a comment below. If not, stop fooling around and get back to work.

NOTE: If you want to get attention and be recognized as a great communicator, check out “Biz 1-Liners” at for one-liner observations that  are appropriate for business applications including memos, presentations and e-mails.

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