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Monday, March 12, 2012

Let's Be Inappropriate

A while ago I published some one-liners that didn’t make the cut for the "Biz 1-Liners" book. There was so much positive response, that I’m doing it again.

While “Biz 1-Liners” is filled with one-liner observations appropriate for any number of business applications from memos to presentations to e-mails and beyond, the following list contains mostly inappropriate comments ... and inappropriate can be fun.

So, it’s time once again to take your nose off the grindstone and wipe the grease off your elbow for a quick break. Chances are a few laughs will re-energize you for your next attack on your priority list.

Zombies want brains. You’re safe.
“Dammit I'm mad" spelled backwards is "Dammit I'm mad"
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
I hope my ship comes in before the dock rots.
As a computer professional, I find your faith in technology amusing.
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket ... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
I huffed and I puffed and I got up out of my chair.
You're not going to win, but it's cute to see you try.
Things just haven’t been the same since that house fell on my sister.
I Love Gardening. It helps when you need to hide the bodies.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Are you really leaving or are you just trying to brighten up my day?
I’m Always Late ... my ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
Catch a falling star ... and you’re toast.
“Stressed” spelled backwards is “Desserts”
Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.
Paddle faster ... I hear banjo music.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
You're so lazy, the only thing you do fast is get tired.

If you have any one-liners you’d like to share, make a comment below. If not, stop fooling around and get back to work.
NOTE: If you want to get attention and be recognized as a great communicator, check out “Biz 1-Liners” at for one-liner observations that, unlike those above, are appropriate for business applications including memos, presentations and e-mails.

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