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Friday, July 13, 2012

Oh No You Didn’t

This is installment #3 of one-liners that didn’t make the cut for the “Biz 1-Liners” book. There was so much positive response to the first two, that I’m doing it again.

While “Biz 1-Liners” is filled with one-liner observations appropriate for any number of business applications from memos to presentations to e-mails and beyond, the following list contains mostly inappropriate comments ... and inappropriate can be fun.

So, it’s time once again to take your nose off the grindstone and wipe the grease off your elbow for a quick break. Chances are a few laughs will re-energize you for your next attack on your priority list

To Save Time, let’s assume I know everything.

The Hokey Pokey Clinic: A Place to Turn Yourself Around.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Writer’s Block: when your imaginary friends won’t talk to you.

When you stop believing in Santa ... you get underwear.

Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

If live gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

Would anyone else like to under estimate my intelligence today? They're still looking for the last person who tried.

Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.

It’s only funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s hilarious.

I don’t have enough middle fingers.

Always remember that you are unique... Just like everyone else.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Facing Your Fears Builds Strength ... but running from them makes for a great cardio workout.

Libraries. Shhhhh Happens.

Those who like me, raise your hands. Those who don't, raise your standards.

Old age comes at an inconvenient time.

If you have a split personality I can’t be friends with you. Or you.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right

If you have any one-liners you’d like to share, make a comment below. If not, stop fooling around and get back to work.
NOTE: If you want to get attention and be recognized as a great communicator, check out Biz 1-Liners at http://fastforwardincome.com/Biz-1-Liners.html for one-liner observations that, unlike those above, are appropriate for business applications including memos, presentations and e-mails.

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