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Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Funny Tweets - The Sequel

Back by popular request, here are more funny “Re-Tweets”. When putting together Biz 1-Liners, I ran across a number of micro-bloggers on Twitter who have the ability to be funny in 140 characters or less. Here is a sample of some of their humor. Whether you find these “Re-Tweets”  clever, irreverent, amusing, inappropriate, or laugh-out-loud funny ... I hope that you enjoy them as a quick break in your productive day.

BREAKING NEWS: Facebook is down. Worker productivity rises. U.S. climbs out of recession. RT @OPB

I bet Abe Lincoln only paid with $5 bills then as the cashier's face lit up, he'd smugly grin "yep."  RT @sweet_toof

Adulthood is probably when you stop taking drugs to trip out, and start taking drugs to feel normal. RT @kellyoxford

Has anything happened since 2008? I've been looking down at my phone RT @thesulk

On Passive-Aggressive Jeopardy, the contestants answer Alex Trebek in the form of rhetorical questions.  RT @NickadooLA

"EVERY week is shark week." - An exasperated seal RT @PFTompkin

I think I missed the driver ed class on how inching forward every 5 seconds at a red light makes it turn green faster. RT @adam_fogle

The opposite of having problems is death. RT @YeahImAshley

I see. You're the "don't pigeonhole me" type. Got it.  RT @bazecraze

You know you're old, when you want to check out the new Beavis and Butthead, but have no idea where MTV can be found on your program guide. RT @ROSSatACA

Having an intelligent conversation with my 17 year old son. Just kidding. He's making fart noises while I talk about the SATs. RT @inthefade

If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say,"Help, they've turned me into a parrot", you are wasting everybody's time. RT @juliasegal

I got my foot in the door, my head in the game, and my ass in gear. I'm one motivational tape away from a hospital admission. RT @MODAT

If loving you is wrong, I've probably loved you. RT @TotallyAllen

I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be" I think people are starting to take it as a challenge.  RT @matny

I've always wanted to be one of those people who laughs all the way to the bank, instead of one who cries every time he leaves. RT @MrBigFists

I don’t know why I bother going to the gym when I am so good at Photoshop. RT @Best4Sales 

OK, you’ve been off task long enough, get back to work!

NOTE: You can find the original Funny Tweets post here:

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