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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Did I Just Say That ... Out Loud?

This is installment #4 of one-liners that didn’t make the cut for the “Biz 1-Liners” book. There was so much positive response to the first tthree, that I’m doing it again.

While “Biz 1-Liners” is filled with one-liner observations appropriate for any number of business applications from memos to presentations to e-mails and beyond, the following list contains mostly inappropriate comments ... and inappropriate can be fun.

So, it’s time once again to take your nose off the grindstone and wipe the grease off your elbow for a quick break. Chances are a few laughs will re-energize you for your next attack on your priority list .

It' not that I am antisocial, I just don't like you.

It's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was like a godsend to the lobsters in the kitchen.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Can I grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

We now live in a society where pizza gets to your house faster than police.

Why is there a show called “When Animals Attack”? It should be called “When Stupid People Go Near Dangerous Animals".

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

I want to make a Facebook account with the name "Nobody" so when I see stupid crap posted, I can Like it. And it will say “Nobody Likes This”.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

I've had amnesia as long as I can remember.

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

If you have any one-liners you’d like to share, make a comment below. If not, stop fooling around and get back to work.

NOTE: If you want to get attention and be recognized as a great communicator, check out Biz 1-Liners at for one-liner observations that, unlike those above, are appropriate for business applications including memos, presentations and e-mails.

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