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Thursday, January 24, 2013

Business Gets Me Off

“Business doesn’t get me down. Business gets me off.” So says ficitional corporate suit Jack Donaghy as played by Alec Baldwin in Tina Fey’s 30 Rock.
The Donaghy character (voted “Most” by his classmates at Harvard Business School) is a stroke of satirical genius. Here are some of his great lines from the show:

C’mon Lemon, what do we elites do when we screw up? We pretend it never happened and give ourselves a giant bonus.

I get my hair cut every two days. After all, you hair is your head suit.

Okay, in my defense, every April 22nd I honor Richard Nixon's death by getting drunk and making some unpopular decisions.

 
Never go with a hippie to a second location.


Do you know what the business model works in the entertainment industry? Make ten shows and hope that one of them works. We produce more failed pilots than the French air force.


You’ll do fine as long as you follow my three D’s: discretion, docility and don’t use my bathroom.

 
I have to apologize. You know what they should do with people like her? They should round them all up and put them on an island. Oh, wait, they already have. It's called Manhattan.


Sometimes sexual harassment works. Salome, Mata Hari, Deborah Norville.


Welcome all to the memorial service / freezing for Donald H. Geiss. You were the last of a dying breed, sir. I'll never forget the first thing he ever said to me. ''These are all hookers. Pick one.'' Then after we picked our hookers and the plane took off, he told me his business philosophy. There's always an untapped market. Don was the one who realized there was a whole segment of consumers not buying light bulbs. The asleep. That realization led him to develop the nightlight and the marketing campaign aimed at making children afraid of the dark. ''A monster under every bed.''

I only pass gas one a year, for an hour, atop a mountain in Switzerland.

Well, it's business drunk, it's like rich drunk. Either way, it's legal to drive.

Making it through a full 24-hours without a single misstep is called “reganing.” The only other people who’ve ever done it: Lee Iacocca, Jack Welch, and – no judgment – Sadam Hussein.

Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you loive and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven’t you ever read my throw pillow?


Have a favorite jack Donagy Line? Share it in the comment section below.

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