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Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Inappropriate Observations

This is installment #5 of one-liners that didn’t make the cut for the “Biz 1-Liners” book. There was so much positive response to the first tthree, that I’m doing it again.

While “Biz 1-Liners” is filled with one-liner observations appropriate for any number of business applications from memos to presentations to e-mails and beyond, the following list contains mostly inappropriate comments ... and inappropriate can be fun.

So, it’s time once again to take your nose off the grindstone and wipe the grease off your elbow for a quick break. Chances are a few laughs will re-energize you for your next attack on your priority list

Try to limit yourself to one stupid question per day, OK?

If I’m not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer!

It’s not about winning or losing ... well okay, yeah it is!

Don’t judge me  because I sin differently than you

I’m always disappointed when a liar’s pants don’t actually catch on fire

At my age, Happy Hour is any hour spend above ground

I respect your opinion ... I just don’t want to hear it!

Don’t grow up ... it’s a trap

Diplomacy: the art of telling someone to go to hell, and having them look forward to the trip

You know you’re getting older when you hear your favorite song in the elevator

I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of crap

If you saw my family, you would understand

Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute

I like you ... but if the zombies chase us, I’m tripping you

You’re never too old to laugh at farts

I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m just saying you’ve got bad luck when it comes to thinking

DO NOT DISTURB ... I’m disturbed enough as it is

Cannibals don’t eat clowns ... because they taste funny

You’re about to exceed the limits of my expectations

All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand

I could be a morning person ... if morning happens around noon

You’re not unlucky ... bad things happen to you because you’re a dumbass!

Don’t rush me! I’m waiting for the last minute

If you have any one-liners you’d like to share, make a comment below. If not, stop fooling around and get back to work.


NOTE: If you want to get attention and be recognized as a great communicator, check out Biz 1-Liners at for one-liner observations that, unlike those above, are appropriate for business applications including memos, presentations and e-mails.

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